“Yoga taught me to be present with myself, and notice myself and what is around me, .. So that I can then respond from a place of love, vulnerability, and openness, but still with strength and power and grace.” — Mary Ann Cartwright.

Mary Ann has a story of resilience and love that transformed her life.  Not only was her physical self challenged, but other aspects of herSelf were put to the test. Her spiritual journey was catapulted into discovering her Being in ways she had not yet unveiled. She was determined to honor and transform on deeper levels towards a part of her Being that was always there! 

One normal day in November of 2011, Mary Ann’s life would change from a horrific and traumatic injury.  Mary Ann was preparing to teach a yoga class. She went to move a lamp in her classroom, but the plug was stuck. She was unable to let go. Sparks & flames came out of the outlet and a surge of electrical current went thru her body. For a few seconds, she felt she was in a space between living and dying. It was a defining moment. 

The injury left her with no physical burn, but the effects would stay with her, causing internal damages. For the next 7 weeks her injury got worse. She was making yelping sounds from sporadic sharp darting pain, she experienced limited mobility in her arms, legs and muscles, she could not control her facial muscles,  her memory was affected, she could not remember how to do simple tasks such as cook, and she was having problems speaking.  There were headaches, palpitations, tingling in her body, over stimulation, overly sensitive, and developed issues with her digestive system.  After undergoing a sleep study, she realized she cannot sleep, her brain keeps waking up every 2 minutes.  She had extensive neurological testing and was diagnosed with traumatic brain injury (TBI) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). She was diagnosed with neuropathy and Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. She was more confused and disoriented, even sometimes losing consciousness.   Not knowing what was happening to her, she tried to get her life back by going into survival mode.  She was feeling overwhelmed, unsure, unsafe, super isolated, depressed, and nervous. She tried to seek out help and look for research on the effects of electrical injuries. It was hard for her to find any available information for “post electrical injuries” or post-electrical syndrome.

Her intellect began to kick in. She asked herSelf “where do I go from here?” Thinking she had to get up, take charge and do something, took over. She was not going to lose her independence to this injury and she never viewed herself as a victim and did not want to be labeled as one. 

Throughout her journey & recovery she experienced many emotions. She felt anger, resentment, frustration. She wanted her strong and independent self-back. She had to re-learn many things – self care, cooking, writing, muscle movements – just to name a few.  When she was out in public she took extreme efforts to push her body and spirit into a different state of Being. When she got home, she let it all go and allowed herSelf to be vulnerable.  She struggled to switch back and forth.  As she learned to let go of seeking validation or holding onto an old perception of Self, she learned how to allow others to see her the way she was – vulnerable and human. 

Her journey of healing would continue for another 9 years.  She never really gave herself time to heal, she was back to work 9 weeks after the injury. She teaches teenagers with emotional & behavioral disorders.  Trying to hang on to her old self that is determined and independent, at the same time, feeling alone and a lack of independence, she charged forward. One day she realized that the smartest way to heal is to allow her body to heal without any stress. She always knew this, but didn’t allow it for herSelf. 

By 2019, she had made many great strides in her recovery, but she wanted something deeper. She said, “Something needs to change, because I can no longer function the way that I am functioning”.  She took a Unity Consciousness course, dove into her subconscious & unconscious Self, because it was time to “move forward in life for the purpose of being here”.  She said, she needed to collapse the past Self, so that “I can be more of myself and not be an apologetic self”.  It was a transcendental and transformative year.  Self-care was key, she can now see and tune more into her own intuition. 

Yoga was pivotal throughout her journey. It is an underlying thread in her life. She stated that “It (yoga) is really for one to connect with themselves” With yoga, she learned “I am not just the physicality, but also the consciousness, and all that needs to merge; my physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and energetic bodies all needed to come into unification with my consciousness”. She further stated, “I’ve come to honor myself and heal my body”. 

Her yoga journey started as a physical exercise over 20 years ago. Later it expanded to relieve stress from work.  Because her students at work requested to learn about yoga, she got her RYT 200 hours. Moreover, it was the YTTI RYT 500 hour teacher training with Mokshapriya, Janine and Marianne that allowed her to bring yoga deeper into her healing process.  “It was hard!” She cried, she shed layers, and felt many emotions during the process. At times she felt raw and had to learn to truly step into vulnerability with healthy boundaries.

As I interviewed her, I could see how she transformed from a struggling and confused Mary Ann, to an energized, empowered, and confident person, who is loving, accepting the masculine and feminine part of herSelf and is not apologetic for who she is. As she puts it, “there were many pieces of the puzzle, but a big chunk of it makes sense now.  The information was always there”.  Each piece embodies her to be the new version of herSelf, as she continues to learn and evolve. She encourages everyone to do yoga. Fears, misconceptions and negative self-talk are common challenges for a new yogi. 

For those who are practicing yoga, you cannot plan for your path, “It is not always a nice wave. You go down, and you come up, and experience emotions, it’s like being a hero” riding the waves. As Mary Ann so elegantly puts it, “Yoga has taught me to be present with myself and notice myself and what is around me.. so that I can respond from a place of love, vulnerability, and openness, but still with strength, power and grace”.